


Session #3

by Netcord2002



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-11-19
Updated: 2004-11-19
Packaged: 2019-05-30 18:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15102797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Netcord2002/pseuds/Netcord2002
Summary: Jed's turn.





	Session #3

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

# Session #3   

Author: Netcord2002

Rating: PG

Pairing:Jed & Abbey- drama

Feedback: Absolutely...feel free

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Aaron Sorkin.

Jed’s turn—

Stanley and Abbey arrived together at 9:30 to find Jed pacing over near the window having a cigarette. Abbey cleared her throat disapprovingly. Jed shrugs and takes one a last puff before stubbing it out in the ashtray on his desk. He has changed into his comfortable jeans, but is still wearing the blue striped oxford he had on during the day. His sleeves are rolled up on his forearms and the top three buttons are undone. Abbey took her usual spot on the end of the couch. Stanley stands respectfully waiting for Jed to take a seat.

Stanley knows this will not be an easy session. In all the meetings he has had with Jed it has always been a huge challenge to get him to open up. Stanley had never met anyone more capable of evading a subject than Jed was. “Jed, are you ready to begin?” he asks lightly.

Running his hand through his hair Jed looks at Abbey, who is sitting up attentively. He returns her encouraging smile and comes around to sit on the front edge of his chair. He leans forward resting his elbows on his knees, with his hands clasped in front of him. Jed lets out a deep sigh. 

“Sir, this is the tough part. You can say whatever you’re comfortable with, but let me caution, the more you hold back the longer it will take us to reach our goal.” Stanley sure has a way of tossing the ball at people. When it lands in their court they have no real choice, but to pick it up and play.

“Okay, look………I have been running this through my mind for weeks. Longer actually. I’m not sure where to begin. My life has certainly been a long and sometimes strange journey. I don’t really want to go into my relationship with my father here, but it has become evident to most people that that relationship does affect me even still. Did it drive me into public service? Maybe. Did I seek approval from complete strangers so that I could be elected to higher and higher office? Sure. And in doing so do I feel content with all I’ve achieved? No, not really. Yes, I wanted to be President. I have abilities. I can lead, persuade, encourage, comfort, and influence lives. No matter what I have accomplished or how much praise I receive there always seems to be more to accomplish. I am not so arrogant as to think I can change the world. I understand I am only one man trying to do his best. And often my best just isn’t good enough.”

Jed shifts uneasily in his seat. He glances over at Abbey then quickly back at his hands. “ Many years ago I made a promise. A pledge….to honor, cherish and love you Abbey. It’s a pledge I hold above all others. I carry it like a brand on my heart as a reminder of how much you mean to me. I know you don’t always believe that to be true.” Jed stops and bows his head lower. It appears as if he’s saying a silent prayer. He shakes his head slightly.

Unsure if Jed has reached an impasse, Stanley moves to gently place a hand on his shoulder. “Jed? You’re doing fine. When you’re ready to continue we’re listening.”

“Every day I have to make decisions that effect millions of people. I listen to advisors arguing both sides, but in the end it’s all on me. This is what I signed up for. And yes Leo is the key reason I’m here, but I was not so naïve that I couldn’t foresee the challenges. As President I have to see things and hear information that keeps me awake most nights. I can’t talk about them. I can’t share them. Not even with you Abbey. God I wish I could. These are my burdens. My responsibilites and my decisions to make. Shareef was an evil man who had to be ended. I said ‘Take him’ and they did. How many commandments have I broken? I can’t even go to confession. A President can’t go to confession and say, ‘I ordered a man to be killed today.’ It’s a sin I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life. I have sinned and they took my daughter away. I sinned and my wife wept in sorrow and fear. I couldn’t tell you Abbey. It was not a decision I could share. ‘Libera me, Domine, de morte aeterna. Culpa rubet vuitus meus, supplicanti parce Deus” I took an oath to protect our country from enemies foreign or domestic and I had to commit a sin to do it. ‘Judex ergo cum sedebit, quidquid latet, apparebit’. 

Zoey is my daughter too. I also wept with sorrow and fear. I felt God’s hand crashing down on me. He was crushing me Abbey. Couldn’t you see that? I wanted to console you. I needed you to console me. When Zoey was given back to us by some miracle you turned away from me taking her with you. Not only could I not find forgiveness from God, I could not even ask it of you.”

Jed slid to his knees. He bent forward pressing his forehead against his clasped hands and prayed desperately, “ Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.”

Abbey sat in shocked silence for a moment. This outpouring of guilt was more than she could bear. Jed’s shoulders slumped and he wept. His hands were shaking. He was sweating and grew pale. Abbey knelt beside him pulling him into a loving embrace.

 

“Shhhhh. Babe, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay. I’m with you .I’m with you now.”

Jed did not respond to her touch continuing to weep uncontrollably. He collapsed against her causing even more concern. Abbey tightened her hold on him.

“Stanley help me. We need to get him up and into bed.” Stanley and Abbey lifted Jed to his feet, each taking an arm over their shoulders. Grasping him by the back of his belt they guided him through the door into their bedroom. Carefully they turned to sit Jed down on the edge of the bed. Jed breathed in jagged spurts, trying to calm himself. He managed to wipe his face on his sleeve before flopping back across the green comforter.

“Thanks Stanley. I’ll take it from here.”

“Should I call for a doctor Ma’am?”

“No that won’t be necessary. The best medicine right now is sleep. I’ll stay with him and make sure he gets settled. Thanks.”

“If you’re sure Ma’am. I’ll go then and give you both some privacy.” 

As Stanley shut the door behind him, Abbey gingerly unbuttoned Jed’s shirt. He stared vacantly up at the ceiling. Abbey grasped his hands pulling him slowly up so she could remove his shirt. She tossed it on the back of the sofa and opened his belt buckle. 

“Come on Babe, let’s get you into bed. We’ve had enough for one night.”

Jed stood on unsteady legs as Abbey slid his jeans off. She then lay him back into the pillows and pulled the covers over his body. He began to shiver. Goosebumps covered his skin. She moved around the room yanking the curtains closed and shutting off lights. Jed lay on his side silently watching her. As Abbey reached to turn off his bedside lamp he grasped her by the wrist. 

“Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?” 

“Of course.” She smoothed the hair back off his forehead checking for signs of a sudden fever, but was relieved to find none. Abbey climbed over, settling herself just behind him, spooning up against his body. She kissed the back of his head and slid her right hand around his chest pulling him closer. “I love you too,” she whispered. Jed wove his fingers in hers bringing her hand to his lips. Then he placed it over his heart and gave a final sigh before closing his eyes.

TBC

Latin translation- From Verdi’s Requiem- “Deliver me, Lord, from everlasting death. Deep shame and grief are on my cheek; in sighs and tears my sorrows speak. For now before the judge severe, all hidden things must now appear.”


End file.
